Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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