I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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