It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
