fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
