I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
