the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
