Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
