i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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