dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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