He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
