I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
