We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
