just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
