I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
