This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
