dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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