Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
