Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
