I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
