nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
