I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We have started to decorate penises.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
