No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
birth control should be required to get into college
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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