i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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