just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
