I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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