i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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