isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
