I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
