Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
