The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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