I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize