$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
