Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
