gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
