Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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