dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
