I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
