I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
