we're blogging at a bar
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
