YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
