Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
