i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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