Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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