It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
