carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
