Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
