Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
