I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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