Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
