sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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