I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
